Must We Love Ourselves - Part 2

I wrote about the self-esteem movement's misuse of Matthew 22:39 to "prove" that we must love ourselves. Biblically, there is just no such command, or anything akin to it. "Loving self" in the Bible just means to care for our body's needs, to take action for our own self-preservation. Paul says that everyone already does that: "forno one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it" (Eph. 5:29). The problem, according to the Scriptures, is not that we don't love ourselves but that all too often we engage in sinful human pride (see James 4:6-8).

Yet the self-esteem movement continues to pound away virtually unchecked. The ideas that we must "accept ourselves," "feel worthy" and "learn to love self" are chanted as mantras that are accepted without question as true. At the close of the April article I promised to write more about the self-esteem movement's flawed foundations and its anti-biblical bias. A special issue on re-thinking old issues and a written debate pre-empted that material but I am glad to present it now.

An examination of the history of the self-esteem movement (SE) reveals its anti-God and anti-scriptural thinking. Remember, SE didn't begin in scripture. For hundreds of years most people subscribed to the thinking of the hymn Amazing Grace, written in 1779. John Newton's classic song speaks of how God's grace "saved a wretch like me." Most people believed that humans were sinful creatures, unworthy of God's love and grace.

Twentieth century psychology changed much of that. Men like Freud and others began to work from the premise that people are controlled by their unknown and unconscious desires and drives. More and more came to be said about satisfying those desires and drives, and that such was the path to happiness and fulfillment.

Thus, the SE movement was born. The way to be happy isn't to be godly or serve God, as we were made to do (Eccl. 12:13). The road to happiness begins by "feeling and knowing that we are competent to live and worthy of living and being happy." In fact, "We feel worthy. We deserve to be happy." Buzzwords in the SE movement include "silencing the internal critic, accepting your faults, emphasizing your good traits, learn to feel special and unique." Feeling good about self (incorrectly called "loving self") is essential: "We must love ourselves to be able to love others." All of this psycho-drivel and psycho babel goes on and on even leading people to talk about how they were mistreated as children, and claim victim status for themselves. Along with this has even come the completely false idea that we must learn how to forgive ourselves (something the Bible never speaks of).

Taken to its full end, SE becomes a consuming passion, the critical issue in life. Dr. James Dobson says: "If I could write a prescription for the women of the world, it would provide each of them with a healthy dose of self-esteem and personal worth (taken three times a day until the symptoms disappear). I have no doubt that this is their greatest need." Selling Yourself on You has this quote from a Christian leader on the back: "this book will help thousands to realize they are the most important person in their lives."

Christians should immediately see the significant and serious problems with the SE movement. The only passage that speaks of loving self directly condemns it! "For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy" ( 2 Timothy 3:2). We are not products of our childhood, but our own choices (Josh. 24:14ff; Ezk. 18; Acts 2:40). The Bible urges repentance of sin, not accepting our faults. Further, God's word commands humility not "emphasizing your good traits." As for silencing the internal critic, we are to listen to our conscience (Rom. 14) and when the internal critic is in fact reminding us of right and wrong we are not to silence it but obey it (see 1 Tim. 4:2). Dobson may have some good ideas in his books, but SE is not the great need of our day, salvation from sin is!

Our readers may be interested to know that the SE movement is coming under fire from secular sources. As something that is not true because it contradicts God's word we should not be surprised to find that true science exposes SE as a fraud. Where are the studies supporting SE's claims? Despite several decades of work research simply does not support the idea that pumping up how people feel about themselves changes anything. More and more studies are showing that puffing up people's self-esteem is not the cure-all to society's ills that some think. "n an excellent review of self-esteem research by Kohn (1994) he found there is little hard data showing that self-esteem is related to helping others, academic achievement or good citizenship." California spent $735,000 on a similar study and found the very same thing!

Sadly, some Christians have tried to "baptize" SE and bring it to church. Yet you can see from its foundational ideas that it will be very difficult to get it under the water! The SE movement opposes the formation of true Christian character at almost every point.

However, it is frequently argued that Jesus died for us and that shows how much humans really are worth, doesn't it? Absolutely not! The truth is that Jesus died for us while we were utterly unworthy. "For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:7-8). Paul's contrasts are sharp and clear. We were not righteous, we were not even good! We were sinners, rebels against God and His ways. Romans 3:12 even says of sinners (read: you and I) "They have all turned aside; They have together become unprofitable; There is none who does good, no, not one" (Romans 3:12). The NIV translates that "All have turned away, they have together become worthless. "Without God's grace and mercy and love operating in our lives we have no value. None. Sinners who rebel against God and refuse to do His will are the objects of God's love but if they refuse to become His children they remain in a condition where they are "worthless." That understanding really knocks the SE movement and its mantras for a loop, doesn't it? Arguing that Jesus' death for us proves how worthy we are, how important we are, or how much value we have is like arguing that a mass-murderer who has bail set at $25 million must be really worthy because his bail is so high! That it took Christ's blood to redeem us, pay our "bail" if you will, shows God's great love but it also exposes the depths of our sin and wickedness. It is simply impossible to find a basis for self-love in the cross of Christ! So Paul says "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me" (Galatians 2:20).

The Bible teaches a balanced view of self. We are not be involved in self-degradation (false humility), while we focus on self (telling everyone we have a "low" self-image and so need everyone to pet and pay attention to us). We are also not to be involved in pushing self first (pride) where we love ourselves and think we are so wonderful and worthy. Instead we should have true humility, concerned with serving God and others first. The focus of our life is not self, or how we feel about ourselves, but instead on God and His word. The result of that life will be true worship of the God who loves us and redeems us, service to others, and yes, the good feelings that always attend true obedience to God and His word. Let us work to cultivate true, biblical self-esteem and put away the lies of the world and its empty philosophies.

Endnotes:

1. From the Center for Conscious Living, " The Importance of Self-Esteem," no author given.
2. Center for Conscious Living.
3. See for example: Changing Your Self-Concept and Building Self-Esteem
4. Positive Self-Esteem
5. From Psychoheresy-aware.org/ddose93.html
6. Changing Your Self Concept.