Self Control Sexual Desires

Americans have generally been scandalized by the sexual escapades of the President of our country. It has become increasingly clear to even the most casual observer that the leader of our country has not controlled his sexual desires. However, this lack of self-control is not a new problem. Some of God's most impressive servants have stumbled in this area. The Scriptures stir our imagination with the stories of Samson's exploits against the Philistines and yet Samson was unsuccessful at times in controlling his sexual desires (Judges 13-16). His visit to a prostitute at Gaza is a shameful chapter in his life. He fell to the Philistines, not in battle, but by the perfidy of a woman in an immoral relationship. I believe that pride was a fundamental reason for Samson's demise, but certainly uncontrolled sexual passions also played a part.

While we may be shocked and dismayed by the scandalous conduct of our country's leader, he is not the first head of state to behave in a deplorable way. David was a notable servant of God, but his failure to control his sexual desires resulted in adultery with the wife of one of his most trusted and loyal soldiers, a sin which essentially colored the rest of his reign (2 Samuel 11ff). David's son, Solomon, was also an impressive leader as manifested by his request of the Lord for wisdom to lead His people (1 Kings 3). Yet his multiplication of wives (700 wives and 300 concubines) demonstrated his failure to control his sexual desires.

The failure to control sexual desires is not confined to political leaders. Citations of social studies would only confirm what we already know to be true; our society is awash with undisciplined and immoral sexual behavior. Unfortunately, the licentious behavior of our president and various other political leaders mirrors the moral standard of a growing segment of the American public. The prevalence of extra-marital sexual relationships, unwed teenage mothers and sexual abuse are indicators that self-control of sexual desires is a battle which is being lost in many corners of society.

Sexual desire is as natural as hunger or thirst. However, like all natural desires, it must be controlled or it becomes our master, our god (1 Corinthians 9:24-27; Philippians 3:17-19; 2 Peter 2:19). We need to eat, but a failure to control our appetite for food results in gluttony and obesity. Likewise, the failure to control our sexual appetites is extremely destructive both to body and soul.

Our battle to control our sexual desires is complicated by several factors. Few desires can match the potential strength of sexual passion. We are also aware that sexual passion often starts as a small spark, but its tendency is to grow into a raging forest fire. Furthermore, the environment of the average American does little to assist in the struggle against sexual sin. Our society places an unhealthy and unnatural emphasis on sexual relationships. Television seems to be unable to advertise even tennis shoes or toothpaste without somehow associating the product with sexual overtones. The theme of so many television programs and movies seems to be some sexual situation, usually immoral. Computers and easy access to the Internet provide still further challenge as pornography is made readily available to young and old alike. In short, we are bombarded with material whose effect and often whose design is to inflame our sexual passions, making self-control in this area a constant battle.

The following sentence is the most important one in this article. We can win the battle against sexual temptations; we can exercise self-control in this area. God does not intend that we become victims of our environment, nor slaves of our natural passions. But how can we control such a strong desire as sexual passion?

The beginning of self-control in any area of our lives is the mind. The mind is the artesian well of life; from it spring our speech and actions. While there are some things we can do to control our environment and thus lessen the possibility of temptation, the battle of self-control will be won or lost at the level of the mind (see Matthew 5:28; Mark 7:20-23). We must transform our minds by means of the good Word of God (Romans 12:2). We must be convicted that marriage is the proper realm of sexual relationships (Genesis 2:24; 1 Corinthians 7:2). We must realize that life does not revolve around sexual relations or even attractiveness (a blessing for the author!).

Rather than fill our thoughts with filth via television or the Internet, we must fill our minds with that which is true, noble, just, pure, lovely and of good report (Phil. 4:8). We must abhor evil (Romans 12:9). Avoid pornography like the plague that it is. We must realize that we often fall into patterns of thought; what pattern of thought will we choose regarding sexual relations (see 2 Peter 2:14)?

Understanding the nature of sexual desires, we must take special caution to avoid the onset of evil thoughts. The time to try to stop a train is when it is on a level grade, not when it is plunging downhill at breakneck speed. Joseph understood this principle; Samson did not!

Finally, we must remind ourselves frequently of the consequences of a lack of self-control: sexually-transmitted diseases, broken marriages, the loss of purity and self-respect...eventually eternal condemnation.