Developing Self-Control

Imagine this: Ed McMahon arrives at a fellow's doorstep with the fabled Sweepstakes check. Ed announces "Sir, you are our winner. But we are offering you a choice. You can have this check for $10 million or you can receive self-control. Which do you want?" If the man takes the money we might expect to find that in a few years most of that money is gone, and that the man's life has changed in many ways, not all for the better. But if he selected self control we might find something completely different. He would say "People thought I was crazy to turn down the money. But with self-control I was able to finally finish my college education and now have a better job to provide for my family. I stopped raging at my wife and kids and saved my marriage. I don't drink any more, and for the first time ever, I've found contentment in serving Christ Jesus. Others respect me, I have my own self-respect, and the Lord can use me. Without any doubt, self-control was worth much more than money!" Think about it: there is value in being able to control yourself, isn't there? We work diligently for money. Will you do the same kind of work to develop self control?

Begin by working at the root level of the problem. Too often we are very symptom-oriented in our diagnosis. Such can be very self-defeating. If my right arm develops a serious infection so that I may lose it I would be foolish to focus on finding a new prosthetic arm. Instead I need to discover the source of the infection and treat that infection. Then my arm can be restored to health. Likewise, we may decide to treat a lack of self-control with food by dieting, or a lack of self-control with money by cutting up credit cards. These are symptomatic fixes only our lack of self-control will simply emerge in some other part of our life. At the root level of these problems is our unwillingness to treat these matters as sin. The Bible certainly teaches that a lack of self-control is just that: sinful. In 1 Corinthians 6:12 Paul says "All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any." If I surrender my power to money or television or food or cigarettes or any other addiction where I cannot say "No" and cannot control myself then I have sinned. The problem is sin. We will not improve significantly in any lasting way until we are ready to confess and repent of these sins. Then and only then can we be ask for and receive the help of our great God in overcoming sin. Let us quit covering up our sinful lack of self control with little jokes, a cute wink, or lame excuses and instead get serious with sin. "He who covers his sins will not prosper, But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy" (Proverbs 28:13).

Second, let us plan for small victories. When we are convicted of the need for greater self-control in an area of life we may make the mistake of deciding to lick the problem once and for all in one giant step. "I've not been very disciplined in my use of time so each morning from now on I'll pray for two hours and read fifty chapters of the Bible!" Usually, such grand schemes are beyond our ability. If we have been enslaved to self and selfish desires for years, have ignored our sin, and allowed our self discipline skills to wither away to nothing, we are only fooling ourselves if we think we shall suddenly rise up in great strength and set all things right immediately. I am reminded that when Joshua led Israel into Canaan they did not line up in one great battle against every army, nation and tribe found in the entire land. Through a series of small battles the entire land was taken, as each opponent was dealt with one or two at a time. Identify small steps that you can take today that will lead to bigger steps tomorrow. Through time you can build up your moral courage and ability to say "No." Many small victories add up to much greater self control.

Third, expect to fail but be determined to start again. I must sadly tell you that your attempt to build self-discipline into your life will be contested tooth and nail by our adversary the devil. He knows that self control is key to discipleship. He will not be pleased with what you are doing and will make every effort to frustrate your plans. As much as we might want to change and maintain a "perfect record" the reality is that such probably will not happen. Few alcoholics quit "cold turkey" without ever relapsing to some degree. The issue when that happens then becomes "What will you do now?" Do you let this falling back into the ways of the old man set the tone for the rest of your life? Or do you say "That was wrong, that was what I was fighting against, I must confess that as sin and start anew, with even more determination not to do that again"? One path leads to spiritual death. The other leads to life in Christ Jesus.

No one, not even Ed McMahon, can give you self control. You will have to diligently work at it at every day. Careful, specific planning, followed by careful evaluation and then even more effort can help you grasp the great treasure of self control.