Women: Prepare Yourself for Marriage!

Everyone wants their marriage to last a lifetime (at least when they first get married!). But all around we see people failing to make this dream come true. What can we do to make certain when we marry we will stay married? We need to see things as God sees things. 1 Samuel 16:7 says "God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." If we would look at life the way God does we would realize that good looks, money and fun will not make a marriage last. Having a lasting marriage is a matter of being what God would have us to be.

Three attributes are necessary to being able to stay married for life. The first is faith in God's word. Do you really believe God's word? Today's thinking flies in the face of God's scripture. Peter tells us where our emphasis as women should be: "let not your adornment be merely external-braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God" (1 Pet. 3:3-4). Where is your main emphasis in life? Many women spend so much time on their appearance that they have little time left for developing their character. We should have faith in God's word that the most important part of us is our heart.

If we truly believe God's word then we will seek out help in learning its principles and wisdom. Do you truly believe Titus 2:3-5? This passage instructs the older women to teach the younger women to "love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored." If we as women genuinely believe this we will seek out older women who can help us. God's word contains jewels that will truly help our marriage last for a lifetime. There are women in the congregation who are willing and able to help us find them if we will just ask. Believe God's word! A strong soul will help a marriage stay strong.

Another attribute to develop is determination to obey God's word. God made marriage and knows what is best for a marriage to work. There are certain rules that God has set forth for marriage. The first is found in Genesis 2:24: "For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife." Many marital problems are caused when a woman is not willing to "leave" her parents. When you are looking for a husband, make sure that he is someone that you are willing to give up your family and their ways for. He will need to be first in your life even if it goes against your parents' wishes. This is how God intended for it to be.

Another rule that God set up was that a wife should respect her husband and be in submission to him (Ephesians 5:22-24,33). The dating period should be the time to decide if you respect this person and can submit to him. Submission involves yielding to him and trusting him. Many women excuse their lack of submission by claiming they can't trust him to make good decisions. The text doesn't say submit to him if he makes good decisions. A woman has to choose to submit. If you can't submit to this man, then don't marry him. Submission is not optional to a wife, but marriage is! If you can't fulfill all the obligations that go along with being married, then don't put your soul in jeopardy by getting married. Be determined to obey all of God's laws for marriage. When we do that we are doing all that we can to make sure our marriage will prosper.

The third attribute is to apply God's word to our lives. Proverbs 21:9; 21:19 and 25:24 all talk about how it would be better to live in the desert or in the corner of the roof than to live in a house with a contentious woman. Can we apply this to our lives? When you are looking for a mate, find one that you can live with as he is. Don't go into a marriage expecting to be able to change him to fit what you want. If you do, you will become the contentious, nagging woman in Proverbs. Apply 1 Peter 3 and work on your inward self more than your appearance. Apply Proverbs 31:11-12 and be honest, open and trustworthy to your husband. These are things that make for a lasting marriage.

Work to be an excellent wife who is the crown of her husband (Proverbs 12:4). Have faith in God's word, be determined to obey God's word and apply that word to your life. If you do these things, your marriage can endure. Let it be said of you as it was said of Ruth: "all my people in the city know that you are a woman of excellence" (Ruth 3:11).